Case closed

December 2002

So I called her as usual. In truth, I wanted to call her; the day would seem empty now, if we didn't talk.

I asked how she was, was the headache gone, did she feel tired. She said she was much better, having taken a painkiller and then went on to talk about the Titanic movie, which she'd just finished watching. 'So sad' she said.

I was immediately annoyed. I'd expected her to pick on our conversation of the night before, and her subsequent email. The content and apologetic tone of the note had made me feel pretty good about myself, and I was looking for more of the same. So when she ignored the subject, as she did, I was disappointed and began to feel some degree of anger.

My responses became monosyllabic, and after a while she said 'honey, are you still unhappy? I think I explained everything now. Don't be so narrow minded. Case closed, ok?'

What could I say? She was right. But her suggestion that I might be 'narrow minded' just angered me more, and I didn't want the subject to be closed, at least, not yet. I wanted her to seek my forgiveness, so that I could generously bestow it.

So I said 'nothings wrong'

There was silence for a while. It was another opportunity for her to pick up the tenor of the email, which would have pacified me in an instance. But she didn't. Instead she said 'honey, if we keep talking about this, I will feel uncomfortable'

There was nothing more I could say on the point. I was beaten. And consequently my bad temper grew worse. I wanted to upset her, to exert my power against her, and the only thing I could think of was:

'Did you tell me the truth about your age the other day?'