Friday, June 16, 2006

Incredible achievement

December 2002

So lo paw, meant wife. It was rather amusing to think of the number of times I'd written to her, or text her, starting the message; 'my lovely lo paw'.

Maggie was laughing; 'you never guessed that, did you honey?'
'No, babe, better not say it anymore.'
'No, you never can stop, you need my approval first'

And then I was reminded of her question that last night in Hong Kong. I knew I shouldn't mention it, but suddenly something inside me just wanted to know, 'did you mean it when you asked me if I wanted to get married?'

'Of course'
'Then I'm sorry' I said, 'I thought you were only joking'

The conversation stalled for a minute or two, as we both collected our thoughts. I knew I oughtn't to allow this to go any further, it could only cause pain, but at the same time I didn't want it to stop.

And when she broke the silence with; 'honey, do you want to marry me?'
I simply replied, 'yes'

My feelings of remorse were immediate. What was I doing? I couldn't marry her. It was impossible. All I was doing was making the inevitable ending of our relationship all the more painful for her. For the first time since we met, I actually started thinking about the consequences of my actions.

And yet, at the same time, I couldn't help from myself smiling. In little more than the five weeks, I'd been able to make a lovely young woman fall in love with me so completely, that she'd now made a proposal of marriage.

I'd gotten everything right; the meeting, the courtship, the intimacy and the love making. At that moment it all seemed such an incredible achievement.


Blogger Jack & Jill said...

Hi AT,

Is there a way you can create an index to your posts, as I seem lost here?! Pl don't get me wrong, I am writing this as I could not locate your Intended flow.

It would be nice if you could do that.

On your comment- Thanks so much for being so positive on my work. I should clarify that the word publishing should have mislead you, I meant e-Publishing.

And of course, we can share our views with each other. I would be delighted in doing so-one author to another.



7:17 pm  
Blogger nepspeed82 said...

That's an achievement alright.

9:56 pm  

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