There must be a reason

January 2003

That evening I sent her an email, it was quite straight forward, saying:

‘Babe, it was good talking to you today, as always. It’s lovely to be talking about our plans, our marriage and my trip. I can’t wait, I hope you know that. I was a bit surprised therefore that after such happy talking, you started talking about your ‘admirers’ again.

Of course I know that other men will find you attractive.

How many are there? Are they friends? You know I am quite happy that go out with friends, male or female. You just need to let me know.

Mostly, I am just curious why you mention them again. Has any of them contacted you recently?’

In the morning her reply:

‘Honey, you do not need to worry about this issue, I know how to handle, ok? If they call, I know how to respond to them, so that they know there is no hope. If they email of the test message, then I do not send the reply.

Honey, I have you know, I don’t have interest in the other guy, you know I stay in every night, never go out since I met you. You are the only one in my mind. If they call, I give them the unhappy voice.

Yes, I have the admirers, and you know, I cannot control them, if they want to call, how can I stop them? You have to trust me honey. Let me handle. This is not an issue for us, ok? I only have you in my mind, did you notice that?’

This note annoyed me. It wasn’t a question of trust. I’ve never accused her of anything. And she didn’t answer my questions.

I sent a note straight back:

‘Babe, I always trust you. How can you say otherwise?

It was you that mentioned these ‘admirers’. And since you did, I just wanted to know how many there were, and how often they were in contact.

As I said before, it is quite ok for you to have male friends.

So why did you mention them? I believe there must be a reason’