Thursday, November 02, 2006

Time to find out

January 2003

I didn’t say anything at the time, we just said our normal goodbye’s. ‘Goodbye honey, I love you’. ‘Yeah goodbye babe, sleep well’

Not saying ‘I love you’ in return was a deliberate omission.

But the allusion to her so called ‘admirers’ did not escape me. I tried to think about it rationally. Though of course, it wasn’t possible to be entirely rational.

Why would these guys, whoever they were, still be chasing her? Why hadn’t they simply given up? They would, wouldn’t they, unless they were complete no hopers. Did they pose any threat? Surely, if she’d liked any of them, she wouldn’t be waiting around for me. Is she in communication with them? It seemed rather unlikely as our communication took up so much of her time. When would she find time to be talking to them? Email maybe, but nothing else. Private calls at work were frowned upon. And why would they be content with that, if they never saw her? Maybe she is just keeping them in reserve. But why do that? If she'd liked them, she would be with them already. Are they people she dated in the past? I had no way of knowing, her past was largely a mystery to me at the time.

I didn’t suspect her of anything. I believed she was, as she always said, devoted to me. She was obviously very single when we met, and clearly she never went out at night. She was always at home waiting for my call.

Perhaps the guys just called occasionally, trying their luck. But unless they were particularly thick skinned, they would have realized long ago that they were wasting their time. It didn’t make any sense to me, I decided it was time to find out.


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