Trying to provoke

January 2003

Again we stayed awake late into the night; talking, kissing, on more than one occassion I went down on her again. Every time the result was the same, it seemed so amasing.

Then I held her in my arms, the TV was on in the background, but we gave it little attention, I looked at the clock, it was 2am,

Then she started talking about film stars that she liked, most of whom, I didn't know. Keanu Reeves was her favourite, although she said she only liked him in one movie called 'Speed'. Apparently her work colleagues had called her Mrs Reeves, for a long while, since she talked about him so much after watching the film with her mother.

Of course she was trying to provoke me, trying to see if she could make me jealous. I didn't react, although in truth, I did feel hurt listening to this, so soon after she was calling me her superman. I don't think my face betrayed my feelings though. I said simply 'oh yeah, I'm afraid I don't know him'

It left me with an unpleasant feeling though, and this was made worse when she started saying 'mmmmm Ben Affleck, mmmmm George Clooney, so handsome'.

At the time, I didn't see the innocence of what was nothing more than a schoolgirl crush, and my mood worsened. I saw her comments as indicating a sexual interest in these film stars, it was a long time before I learnt that that was not the case.

Eventually, getting little or no response from me, she changed the subject, and asked 'honey what would you do if I broke up with you?'